A Death in the Family

Blogville is a lot like other towns. People die here too.

Recently, I've been touched by three deaths of parents to people I read: o2bee's mother, Kevin's father, and Jeff's father.

Pain shared is pain made more bearable. I know, because, when my mother died, talking about her and letting people know how I felt (however 'appropriate' or 'inappropriate'), was the only thing that provided any ease at all. I see that impulse clearly in those writing now about the ones they loved and continue to love.

When you first lose a parent, you become a member of a club you didn't even know existed. All of a sudden you have something in common with a whole bunch of other people, each of whom has a pain that's in some ways utterly personal and private, and in other ways nearly universal. It's a strange experience.

In our society we don't talk much about death, and we try to either sanitize it out of existence or turn it into fantasy entertainment and spectacle. The reality of death is a challenge to everything our culture purports to value. People telling the truth about the deaths of those they love, and how it affects them and their lives, are doing both themselves and all of us a great service. They are also doing honor to the dead.